Thursday, December 17, 2015


The lights went out at Justin's, Sean Combs' popular celebrity restaurant in Atlanta. Known for attracting big-name celebrities, including Santa Claus, its closure has brought some unintended consequences including leaving a void for popular local parking lot shootings, but most importantly, Atlanta's best lasagna will need to be found elsewhere. Justin's lasagna was known to be a popular choice for Santa, who always made his annual pilgrimage to Justin's during every Christmas season, sometimes eating up to 12lbs of the Italian dish known locally as "Justin's Lasagna". With Santa's reliance on a ricotta and tomato sauce fueled Christmas all-nighter, he was forced to find a replacement for Justin's Lasagna.

Mrs. Claus, Santa's wife, tried reaching out to Mr. Combs to get his famous Lasagna recipe but he was busy crafting a new identity. With only baking skills and in a desperate rush, Mrs. Claus attempted to recreate the dish using ingredients she found around the Claus kitchen. The calorie heavy dish led to a sudden weight gain in Santa who has struggled with his weight since taking the job as Father Christmas.

The nearly 600lb Santa took to his sleigh with Rudolph, Santa's lead reindeer, at the helm to deliver gifts this Christmas day only to come crashing down over the city of Atlanta. The crash site was only miles from Justin's in what some are calling an act of revenge against Mr Combs' establishment but initial reports find Santa's weight gain to be the main cause of the Christmas disaster. A spokesman for Father Christmas issued the following statement, "Christmas has been indefinitely canceled for 2015 following Santa's massive weight gain. We will return in 2016."

More information on this story can be found here,