BREAKING NEWS: PUFF DADDY'S JUSTIN'S EATERY CLOSING ITS DOORS, RUINS CHRISTMAS

The lights went out at Justin's, Sean Combs' popular celebrity restaurant in Atlanta. Known for attracting big-name celebrities, including Santa Claus, its closure has brought some unintended consequences including leaving a void for popular local parking lot shootings, but most importantly, Atlanta's best lasagna will need to be found elsewhere. Justin's lasagna was known to be a popular choice for Santa, who always made his annual pilgrimage to Justin's during every Christmas season, sometimes eating up to 12lbs of the Italian dish known locally as "Justin's Lasagna". With Santa's reliance on a ricotta and tomato sauce fueled Christmas all-nighter, he was forced to find a replacement for Justin's Lasagna.

Mrs. Claus, Santa's wife, tried reaching out to Mr. Combs to get his famous Lasagna recipe but he was busy crafting a new identity. With only baking skills and in a desperate rush, Mrs. Claus attempted to recreate the dish using ingredients she found around the Claus kitchen. The calorie heavy dish led to a sudden weight gain in Santa who has struggled with his weight since taking the job as Father Christmas.

The nearly 600lb Santa took to his sleigh with Rudolph, Santa's lead reindeer, at the helm to deliver gifts this Christmas day only to come crashing down over the city of Atlanta. The crash site was only miles from Justin's in what some are calling an act of revenge against Mr Combs' establishment but initial reports find Santa's weight gain to be the main cause of the Christmas disaster. A spokesman for Father Christmas issued the following statement, "Christmas has been indefinitely canceled for 2015 following Santa's massive weight gain. We will return in 2016."

More information on this story can be found here,

Ish Records · Steak And Eggs - Freefallin'

Underworld, Thunder Girl

If you ever wanted to hear a tale about an overweight goth pirate girl from Down Under, here is your chance.

Ish Records · Steak And Eggs - Underworld Thunder Girl

Dave Cashew and the Fetus Beef Weggies

From the Ish #6 cassette, "A Tribute to Buster Kirby", comes Dave Cashew and the Fetus Beef Weggies with their song about thunderous Holmes T-15 guitar amp. Though not heard in this particular track, the Holmes was a mainstay among many of the legendary ish recording artists.

Dave Cashew and the Fetus Beef Weggies - Holmes T-15

Christmas comes but only once per year

As traditions go, it wouldn't be another Christmas without some Steak and Eggs. This year is no exception, as they bring you the story of a slam-dunking, hard-driving 6ft 6 Santa. It was only fitting for this basketball saga to be told in an epic 6 minute song filled with the usual brilliant narrative and consummate musicianship that only Steak and Eggs can bring. Merry Christmas.

Bling Crosby - Christmas

Taken from the 2001 ish records music sampler, "merry ishmas", I bring you the talents of Bling Crosby. Merry ishmas!

Bling Crosby - Christmas

The Nightcreelers with Dave Joyce, 1994

There was a brief period in 1994 where Dave Joyce played bass in The Nightcreelers, due to Tony Brown's high school schedule conflicting with practice, shows, etc. This lineup lasted long enough to record a few songs, though I guess at the rate we were recording back then, that doesn't really mean much. These photos were taken at Dave's parent's house, where we had temporarily relocated to rehearse. These photos are credited to Amy Hill, 4-18-94, "Anything Goes".

Edison Velvetta

There were many Edison Velvetta sessions in 1992, these songs are from the first 2. Day 1 consisted of Brian C and Joel L, who recorded the first 6 songs below. Day 2 added Neal S And Rick J to the band, only recording 1 song, 'Alchies in Office'.

It's Raining

Forever You And Me

I Am Man

Glenn Danzig

Goin' Down For The Big One

Now We're Through

Alchies In Office